


Heavy Snow

by Kabieee



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Academy Era, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Time Skip, Psychological Trauma, Tenderness, tender felix fraldarius, tender sylvix, theyre in love okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 08:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabieee/pseuds/Kabieee
Summary: Sylvain has just killed his brother. Felix is there to show him that he'll be there for him despite any heavy snow that comes their way.
Relationships: felix hugo fraldarius / sylvain jose gautier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	Heavy Snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Natendo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natendo/gifts).

> Natalie (my love, my wife) made two very beautiful pieces and I had to write an accompanying fic for them <3 twitter.com/natendo_art/status/1192411561127796736, twitter.com/natendo_art/status/1192042054731419649  
She also helped me write this fic. I am very grateful to have her in my life, and I hope you enjoy our work <3  
Felix is very, very, very tender in this fic. But it's because he loves Sylvain and always will!!! I l also really enjoyed writing about Felix's mother here. I don't see her mentioned a lot in fics but... there's great potential for angst yall

The room was silent, save for the ragged breathing that shook Sylvain Gautier's torso. Held in his hands was the lance that had just ended his brother's life, the lance that truly separated him and his previous humanity. The anger and hatred still showed on Miklan's face, his features contorted into an ugly sneer despite the fact that no life coursed through his veins. The large scar that jutted down his face had started to bleed from his face's impact on the hard stone floor of the highest room in the tower.

  
Sylvain felt numb as the lance clattered to the floor and he fell to his knees. His chest grew still but tears started rolling furiously down his cheeks, mouth agape in shock. He heard footsteps, seemingly far away, but soon felt the hands of people whose faces he couldn't immediately identify lifing him up by his arms. He wished to fight, to throw them off and to huddle over his brother's corpse. But the professor's far off voice was whispering something in his ear that he could not place. The murmur of the rest of his classmates hurrying over to him created a loud buzzing inside his head. He couldn't focus. He no longer wanted to exist. If this is what life was going to be after having murdered Miklan, he wanted no place on this earth.

  
"Sylvain?" A deep voice cut through the insufferable whispers like a beam of light through fog. He turned to find the source, to find that which had soothed him during his moments of torment. His heart knew the voice better than anything else, while the red in his eyes and screaming in his brain blocked out all other sensation.

  
"Sylvain, it's okay. He's gone now."

  
Sylvain trembled and tried to blink away the hot tears from his eyes. He had managed to fight those trying to lift him and remained on the stone floor. He looked straight ahead and saw nothing but long, pale fingers reaching out from a blurry shadow, followed by a thin face and messy navy hair.

  
"F-Felix?" He managed to sputter out the words, arms pulling away from the professor and frantically grabbing air for his best friend. When their hands connected, he was immediately pulled back into the room, sounds achingly returning to normal in his ears. The lancer groaned and fell forward onto Felix's chest, heaving with silent sobs. He gripped and clutched onto every part of Felix he could touch, desperately trying to hold on as though he'd melt away if he didn't. Felix's arms wrapped tightly around him, attempting to hold him still.

  
In the midst of his anxiety attack, he almost didn't hear Felix's relaxing humming in his ears. It was a song from their childhood, one Felix's mother had sung to them whenever any of them or their friends had a nightmare when they slept over. It was slow but sweet, and the gentle vibrations of his best friend's mouth near his ear as his hands rubbed his back centered his focus. He still shook in anguish, but steadied himself enough to look up at Felix with tear stained cheeks.

  
"We'll take care of the body. Are you good to stay with him?" He vaguely heard the professor talking to Felix. Footsteps could be heard shuffling around, then soft grunts when they picked up Miklan's body to take it away. Sylvain tried to look at them, but Felix firmly kept his head down and smoothed his hair.

  
"Felix, let me see him-- Felix--!" It felt as though he were watching himself fight his friend, nearly headbutting him as he fought against the smaller man. Felix remained steadfast though and held the lancer tightly on his lap.

  
"Sylvain, no. Settle down." He took Sylvain's left hand in his own and held it, looking down at him forlornly.

  
"Felix, I... I killed my brother. Miklan is dead... because of me." His chest ached and his eyes were once again blurry as he began crying. He squeezed Felix as though it'd make the pain go away. He prayed for anything to help in this moment. When he felt Felix release him only enough to slide down onto the cold stone floor beside him, he unabashedly pressed his face into the other man's chest.

  
"No, that monster is dead because he was foolish enough to try to yield your family's relic weapon. You not only protected all of us, but also yourself." Felix spoke firmly but meaningfully to his friend, resting one arm under his head and the other around his armored shoulders. Sylvain slumped pathetically against the other, eyes shut tight in agony. He felt Felix's fingers gently wipe away a tear on his cheek. He leaned into his touch and whimpered.

  
"Please don't leave me tonight. I don't know what'll happen if you do."

  
Felix promised him that would be the last thing he ever did and continued to hold onto Sylvain.

  
**

  
Felix looked around the dining hall for Sylvain, but couldn't spot the head of flaming red hair amongst their classmates. He shifted worriedly, but sat down with the rest of the Blue Lions for their supper.

  
"Has anyone seen Sylvain?" He asked the group.

  
"Not since we got back... I wanted to accompany him to his room, but… he refused," Ashe said sadly. Felix's stomach sank. He was going to do that, but the Professor had torn him away when they returned to Garreg Mach to get an account of what happened since Sylvain had been in no state to talk. Felix looked outside the wide windows of the hall, anxiety coursing through his veins at the heavy snow that pummeled Garreg Mach. One could barely see past the tip of their nose; it was so dense. Hearing was no easy feat either coupled with the wind.

  
He stood up quickly. He wasn't about to sit around not knowing where Sylvain was in his current state, hoping things would work out and he'd be okay. He jolted from his seat and darted off at the protest of the others. He had on no coat, no thick socks, nothing whatsoever to protect him from the cold he was about to enter. But he didn't care. He needed to find his best friend as soon as he could.

  
Felix hit Sylvain's regular spots first: the library and the sauna. He wasn't at either, not chatting up girls or lazing around.

  
"Felix! Are you looking for Sylvain?" Felix's head whipped around, a faint but nearby voice calling out to him. It was Bernadetta, yelling through her cracked dormitory door. Felix trudged through the snow to get closer, shielding his face from the wind.

  
"Yes. Have you seen him?" he practically had to yell. Bernadetta jumped but pointed east.

  
"He went that way!"

  
Felix nodded and ran as fast as he could through the storm, a stich forming in his side and lungs burning. He saw but one set of footprints before him. An uneasy sensation swirled in his stomach when he saw blood, but he remembered that Sylvain had had it all over his armor from the fight. He ran alongside them as to not lose the trail, playing to the goddess with all his might that he'd find him soon.

  
The tracks went past the greenhouse and past the frozen pond. They continued all the way down to the market, making Felix grow simultaneously more worried and angrier by the second. He respected Byleth, but he had truly screwed him over and had endangered Sylvain by making him leave the other's side. All he could do now was trek through the storm, keeping an eye out for that familiar head of bright red hair.

  
He exited the gate that lead to the outer monastery grounds, finally feeling the chill of the wind past his school uniform. His toes were numb in his boots, hair nearly matted from how tangled the wind had made it. The sun was setting; it'd be dark soon.

  
Felix stopped dead when he saw a faint glow coming from a tree far away in the distance. It was eerily orange, and it looked like it stuck straight out of the ground. Felix jogged through the snow, which was now up to his knees, mouth hanging open as he panted.

  
The glow came from a lance, but a lance he had never seen the likes of his entire life. The storm clouded his vision, but when he got right up to it, he recognized it as the lance Miklan had wielded in battle earlier that day. He looked desperately around for Sylvain, barely able to see.

  
"Sylvain! Sylvain, where are you?!" He called out hoarsely, repeatedly shouting his best friends name until his lungs felt like they were ablaze.

  
"Felix?"

  
The call of his name made him jerk around crazily, scanning the all-white landscape in a panic.

  
"Sylvain!"

  
"Felix... I'm up here."

  
Felix ripped his head up and screamed when he saw Sylvain sitting up on a branch of the tree beside him, which he'd barely noticed because the trunk was covered in snow.

  
"What the hell are you doing up there, Gautier?" He growled, pulling his sword from its sheath and manically hacking snow off the trunk. He tried to get his footing to climb up but kept falling. Angry tears formed in his eyes as he struggled, wishing for nothing more than to rip Sylvain down and beat the hell out of him. "How the fuck did you get up there? Can you get down? Get down here right now, Sylvain!" He choked out a sob and watched as his best friend looked down. His face was nearly blue with cold.

  
He backed up when he saw the other scooting to the edge of the wide branch, holding his arms out meekly as though that'd help soften Sylvain's landing. Despite his mental state, Sylvain clunked safely on top of the snow. He fell against Sylvain pathetically though, and Felix knew a bruise would be on his chest from where his armor hit him.

  
"Sylvain... What are you doing out here?" Felix tried to stop his crying, as he knew this was about Sylvain and not himself, but could not stop when he saw how cold and broken he looked.

  
"I... don't know. Rhea gave me... that. And I just sort of found myself out here."

  
"In a tree?!" Felix instantly stopped and bawled against Sylvain's armor, stopping himself before he said something he'd regret. "I was so worried about you. I'm sorry. Please, please come inside with me."

  
Sylvain's head fell onto Felix's shoulder, silent. His hands just found their way around Felix's waist and held him, both their bodies shivering in the cold.

  
"Come on."

  
Felix helped Sylvain up the stairs to the dormitories, still holding on to him in case he crumbled. The lancer's cheeks and eyes were puffy from crying, his shoulders still shaking below his armor. Felix tightly gripped him, every glance at his dead pan expression like a hot knife in his heart.

  
"Come on, Syl. Let's get your armor off." He sat him down on the bed in his room at the end of the hallway, trying not to look directly in his eyes. Felix never cried in front of anyone, and his stomach burned in embarrassment because Sylvain had seen him do so. He gently pulled off his heavy armor, placing the pieces neatly at the foot of his bed. Although his best friend was physically in the room, Felix knew his mind and heart were still suffering back in that tower.

  
The lancer could not even manage a suggestive joke as Felix stripped him of his bloody underclothes, face expressionless as his head rested against his friend's chest. He was barely able to lift his arms and legs while Felix dressed him in warm pajamas. Felix wanted to talk to him, to assuage any doubt in his mind that he'd done the right thing.

  
When thoughts of Miklan and their childhood crossed his mind, he had to steady himself so he didn't take a random item of Sylvain's and chuck it against the wall in fury. That man had done nothing except harbor animosity and resentment towards Sylvain his whole life, therefore taking his anger at their parents out on him. Sylvain had never known the love of a brother like Felix had with Glenn, only constant fear and torture from someone who was supposed to protect him.  
When Sylvain was dressed, Felix laid him down under the covers of his bed. He placed a jug of water on the cabinets that lined the wall and went to sit in his desk chair.

  
"Felix... Can you stay with me?" Sylvain sounded delirious, making Felix's chest tighten in sadness.

  
"I'm not going anywhere, Syl," he said reassuringly, kicking off his boots to get comfortable.

  
"No, I mean... Stay over here with me." With his hazel eyes peeking through the sheets, Felix cleared his throat and blushed, trying not to let on how much he wanted to do just that. "Lie with me... please..." Sylvain added when he merely sat down on the edge of the bed.

  
Felix stiffly removed his jacket and tossed it aside, shoving his feet down besides his friend and pulling the blankets over both of them. His face was warm, but now his body was hot with his best friend so close beside him. Sylvain's shoulders still tremored, hands unable to sit still as they reached for Felix. The younger man sat unbreathing as Sylvain made himself comfortable, not questioning the placements he chose given his mental and emotional states.

  
"Better?" he asked softly, nervously bringing his arms down over the other's shoulders. Sylvain nodded wordlessly, finally closing his eyes for the first time that day. He had Felix pulled directly against his stomach, half resting his head on Felix's right bicep and the other half on his pillow.  
"Talk to me. I can't let these thoughts get too loud." Sylvain's voice was raspy and hoarse, but Felix saw the smallest hint of a smile on his lips.

  
"W-what about?" Felix tsked and instinctively smoothed Sylvain's hair out of his eyes.

  
"Anything."

  
Felix scoffed, his hand moving to the back of his friend's head and staying there. Neither of them protested.

  
Felix pondered on what to say. He didn't want to bring up anything about their childhood, or Miklan, or fighting, not with the way Sylvain's body continued to shake.

  
"...There was a pretty blonde girl in the Church's soldiers." Felix forced the sentiment he figured Sylvain would enjoy best, hoping to look down and see the smile he so desperately wanted to see. But the anguish only deepened on the older man's face, sending Felix reeling. "I'm sorry, Sylvain, forget I said that--"

  
"Talk to me about your mother. I loved her, you know."

  
Felix's eyes shot down to Sylvain. His palms immediately got clammy, and his heartbeat shot up more than it already had with his proximity to his best friend. Felix let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, resting his chin on Sylvain's forehead.

  
"She wasn't around much. But when she was... She was a _mess_." Both men laughed, feeling the vibrations from the other in their chests. "Mother did not know what a filter was, did she?"

  
"She absolutely did not."

  
Felix felt a tear forming in his eye as he chuckled. "People wonder where I get my attitude from. They obviously never met her. She gave father hell every single moment she could. Critiqued the piss out of him when he was teaching me how to swing a sword. She stepped in and did it herself on many occasions."

  
"So did I." Felix felt Sylvain squeezing him, hiding his face in his chest. He looked down to see the corners of his lips turned upward in what was becoming a smile. The tear rolled down Felix's nose.

  
"Whenever you came over, she made a huge deal about it. She said you were her favorite adopted son. Before Glenn, even." Sylvain weakly lifted his head, genuine amazement making his small grin wider.

  
"She said that?"

  
"Yeah. All the time," Felix mumbled, rolling his eyes. Sylvain readjusted so his head was fully on Felix's arm, nose brushing up against his skin. Felix twitched at the action but just pushed his foot in between Sylvain's calves. "She loved you too. She thought you were so silly. You were an idiot, but she was too kind to say that."

  
Sylvain laughed hard enough to make him cough, chest rattling. Felix's hand once again smoothed his hair down, and the swordsman noticed a pink in the redhead's cheeks that hadn't been there before.

  
"Sorry--"

  
"No, it's okay. It feels nice." Felix gulped and forced himself to do it as casually as he could while he continued.

  
"I miss her." His voice was heavy as he fought a sob. Sylvain was likely the only person on earth he'd talk about his mother with. Even then, he doubted he would have unless Sylvain asked him to specifically.

  
"I do too. She was the closest thing to a mother I'll ever have," Sylvain replied quietly, eyes closing against Felix's chest. "Now, tell me about your training."

  
Sylvain felt a new warmth in his chest when Felix twitched excitedly beside him. He felt his friend's fingers grip the back of his shirt where they rested.

  
"My training... where do I begin? I managed to knock the boar off his feet the other day at camp. Even Dedue applauded my footwork. I can tell all those hours spent in the training grounds are paying off. I can feel it every time I lift my blade."

  
"Seeing you so happy will get me through this heartbreak, Felix."

  
Felix's breath caught in his throat. He was mid-stroke on Sylvain's hair but his hands froze, heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

  
"W-what... what do you mean?"

  
Sylvain looked up at him with his eyebrow raised as high as he could muster, having the nerve to pout at Felix. "Isn't it obvious?" He sat up on his left arm and smiled weakly at his best friend. "Earlier in the tower, I couldn't see... I couldn't hear. I felt nothing but displaced noises and shapes.

  
"Until I knew you were there. When you reached out for me, I was pulled away from whatever insane spiral that killing him... was sending me down." Felix stared down at Sylvain, hands gripping the other's shirt more tightly, tighter than the knot curling in his abdomen.

  
"Seeing you this happy, Felix? It's what gets me through every single day. Every day knowing that to most people, I'm nothing more than a Crest. I'm something to be obtained. Knowing that such happiness is within my reach... Literally."

  
Sylvain scooted up against Felix, gingerly raising his right hand to hold the swordsman's face. He pressed his lips to the other, smiling into the kiss when Felix bounced in excitement.

  
Felix freely let tears pour from his eyes, hands moving back to Sylvain's hair. He smiled through his sobs, trying his best not to ruin the moment with his emotion. He was always on one end of that spectrum, either being forcibly void of outward expression or literally sobbing while his best friend confessed his feelings for him and was trying to show him.

  
"I take it you feel the same way?" Sylvain quietly joked, now his turn to sweep the bangs out of Felix's eyes.

  
"Yes, Sylvain, I do." Felix pitifully rested his cheek against the other's hand, crying going silent as he just took him in.

  
They had always been friends, had always been there for one another, despite Felix's grumbles about how their friendship only existed because of their fathers. He always tagged along with whatever boneheaded scheme Sylvain wanted to drag him into, from when he was so small, he had to hold Sylvain's hand to keep up, to recently, when the other was angry enough to charge solo into the room where Miklan stood. But Sylvain never let on that Felix was a source of his strength. Felix never knew the calibre of what he meant to him, especially not with his disastrous dating life.

  
"I love you, Fe."

  
"I love you too, Sylvain," he managed to choke out, diving into the other man's chest. Fireworks exploded in Felix's brain and stomach, a warmth spreading through his body as Sylvain held him. He watched as the other slowly dozed off with a smile on both their faces. His nose twitched when he sporadically snored, just like it had when they were kids. He also became a human furnace, so Felix chuckled softly and removed the top two blankets from their bodies.  
Felix too let himself be lulled to sleep against the other, holding his left hand while his other arm pulled him close around his shoulders. Despite the heavy snows that would surely come their way, they'd be there for one another. Felix promised to no longer let days go by where Sylvain knew anything but love and his protection. He promised to be the warmth the other would need to defrost his heart on his most bitterly cold days.

**Author's Note:**

> I am working on a lengthy but well loved Vampire AU for my sweet hinkelvinkel! I will hopefully be posting it this weekend. Follow me on twitter for fic updates and a+ quality FE3H rts: @setethstiddies (nsfw) or @kabiejurnes (sfw)! i hope you enjoyed!~


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